He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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