my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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