god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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