So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
