i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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