Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do you remember whose house we're in?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
