He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
