I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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