take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize