yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
