I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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