the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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