how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
