is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I supernannyed him into submission
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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