Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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