He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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