I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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