Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
