yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
