Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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