honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
