you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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