just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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