All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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