make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
jump out the window naked night went bad
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize