What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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