I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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