Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
