I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
