I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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