sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
