I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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