So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
