I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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