She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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