My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
