How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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