doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
How's work?
Spinning.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
