Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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