walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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