Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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