I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We left the knife in your bed.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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