Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Mom said you looked used
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
