people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
