Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
