like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
