Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
