she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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