We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
