I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
