The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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