Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
