I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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