yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
