Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I want a musical about memes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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