Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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