You just made me feel so damn special
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
