Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
