he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
