Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
