Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
