i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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