where am i from again
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
