ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
